Sheltered from the storm

I won’t talk about my past. I don’t miss it anymore, nor the idea I held of it all.

Has your heart ever been torn in a mending kind of way?

Just as if a sword pierced it in a healing manner.

Yesterday mine was:

I had tried to forget before, to hold on to hope, and had somewhat succeded, indeed He has brought me far;

I had let go of the remnants of darkness that had kept me drowning, those from the past… very recently I surrendered some at the request from Heaven to break my own agreement with their words, because I had belived them my whole life.

I relinquished those in a heartbeat…

Words are not only spoken through the mouth, you see? Every look, every silence, that gesture you cannot forget or the I need you they answered with I don’t want you through senseless actions. Those around you who do love you can only do so much… but He never minded, my King, He knew I needed only Him and never left, so naturally after crawling into His throne room through the door He opened, I clung to the feet of the One who could heal them all, agreeing now with Him with everything I have and until I fully get to see.

But yesterday… all of a sudden I felt every loss, every kindness denied, every unanswered question, every forsaken breath or broken word, every torn thought that still wondered, the unforgotten looks, aching silences, lonely heartbreak that almost turned me to dust and those senseless actions I forgave but somehow my soul couldn’t forget… just being lifted.

I received a gift after a relentless drought… a meaningfull one. It’s not like I hadn’t received one every birthday when it could be considered due, but surely someone else will read this and understand… the moment my hands first held this one, that’s when I felt it. My soul was pierced and out came whatever hurt and fear from the past had been left.

Unseen, unheard, torn…

My King pierced my heart and ended whatever was left of me. Why? Because I knew right there who was giving me this gift, the messenger only acting as a faithful carrier.

He was the Hand that planned the encounter, oh, sweet encounter.

And He destroyed me.

Seen, heard, healed.

His sword gave me life in an instant. The same instant when I knew all of it was truly over; the brokennes. That mine is not a life to be lived with half breaths and heartache, not anymore, for He has been looking down from up high when no one else has, listening what no one else ever could and loving like no one else ever will… and His hand seeped through to give me a gift that will forever remind my heart of everything He has been speaking, a very straighforward and material one.

Whatever was left in me full of doubt, fear, and brokenness, vanished right there and then at the hands of The Most High.

I feel so grateful… so I’ll cling closer to the Hand extended from the throne room.

And as for the giver of the gift I’ll say this:

In a broken city full of vain things and broken people, there awaits a precious one every tuesday and wednesday; and he also knows my King; may he be blessed with every gift from our Dad.

My cup overflows indeed.

And now, I won’t ever again fear my future, which I know for sure rests in my King’s hands.

-SFTS