writer’s blog
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Unexpected

One thing I’m taking out of the first half of the year: I don’t love you anymore. For all the pages I wrote in longing, eight years turned to nothing. I believe I cared deeply. I did, so much so that I wouldn’t want to care that way for anyone ever again. Never. I also Continue reading
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Hoping for a future, battling despair…

How I wish I could be free. How I hope… You saw I cry because anger is all I have and I can’t have that. Anger would have me run away, and I would. I do, even when there’s no place to run to. I get angry and stay silent, wondering what is it I Continue reading
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awake

How is it that the sound of storm has become my favorite? It’s like waking up from deep slumber. It is true one thing’s not finite; How You loved my heart like thunder. -SFTS Continue reading
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About the oil, the singing, and deliverance.

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.“ “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.“ Psalm 32:7-8 It is like a dialogue. I think I understand something now: We can’t go around saying and doing Continue reading
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Everything all at once

You’ll have to teach me how to live with my eyes finding zeroes all around… how to co-exist with this devastating failure. With everything, but nothing all at once… zeroes all around. More than three days have gone by since my heart uttered these words. Gazing into MY love, do you care for those? I Continue reading
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I guess this is steadier

I love You because You first loved me. With Your helping hand I’m staying as long as I live, if You’ll have me every day. Everything else is over and done and You’re still here; You’re the One in the room I’d look for, You’re the One I choose. There’s nothing but You, no one Continue reading
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I’d sit and wait…

I still watch the stars. Even more so than before. Today I found the very bright one from other years and remembered everything it meant then; Your thoughts upon me. Your attention over me. Your eyes on mine when I couldn’t even see. Everything around me today feels like my eyes did gazing at that Continue reading
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Tenderness

I’ve never been soft. Quite the opposite, it has been a rough, sharp, anything but sweet land the one God has had to work under my name. So much so, that I can’t even stand the sound of it, my first name. It still awakens a heap of broken memories; the boiling waters that hardened Continue reading
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My Sun of Righteousness arises, carrying healing in His rays.

There’s an utter sadness weighing, flying over the wings of joy; maybe it’s my last piece of grief from everything that came to pass, everything that is, and everything that was. What could have been had I written anyway that day? I would’ve looked foolish, yes… but maybe you’d be here. Maybe you wouldn’t and Continue reading
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Started in December

After all this time…I sometimes feel hanging by a thread; still holding on for dear life.It’s on days like these, where every speck of improvement suddenly feels smaller than before and I’m left wondering if it’s all coming back or if I even escaped at all, when I fear that nothing’s happening… it seems to Continue reading
