Sheltered from the storm

I wonder if many people know the true lengths love can go to. Like, when you love someone so utterly much you’d be willing to walk the path that had been meant for them, even after their having left it behind long ago; so much that even when you cannot follow where they went you still prepare, because maybe one day they could wake up and come home, and you’d want to be there, waiting just to see them get here, even if it hurt seeing them living far away where they didn’t belong… you just hang on. You wake up and go to sleep fighting to see all of it come true, wishing their eyes saw all of it alongside your own one day. So much you choose to live because you know deep down that you’re living for the part of them that you know would want to live also, and not die in the void. So much, so much, that you’d be willing to be far away in some kind of strike or close in a raging battle, wrestling the part of them you hate because it’s killing them. You leave if it means they get to live… not as in ‘well, I must’ve been the problem’ but as in, ‘I cannot fight this anymore, fighting them…’ and you guard them in the hands that, removing you from the equation, are the only ones truly able to save them. You don’t always cry for them, not anymore; but sometimes your own hands remember what never got to be and you want to keep on going in case this or that brings them hope, if eyes were to still hope.

Yes, so much you even consider going on with a life you abhorred in another time, just to honor whoever they never got to be.

Dad’s eyes can’t see this, but I keep on breathing because I know he would be the happiest if he was in his right mind.

Their eyes can’t laugh with mine but they would if they had held onto their right minds.

I keep on living a life I did not want at first but one I cherish now… because One lived to have me nearer than His own heart; and made mine smile.

I follow Him where they should have, paving the way for me and the rest of our… people. Everything that never was.

He speaks to me as He had planned them, and teaches me with our hearts in hand.

Do you know how this feels? Loving Him knowing He waited for them first? And they never came.

Had you ever wondered how this could be called?

True love, I’d bet, and my mind’s right.

I’d walk this path if it meant they could follow the trail one day. I do.

I shine for them too.

Because of the only true Light, I shine for them too.

-SFTS