Sheltered from the storm

I’ve never been the kind to stay long enough. In fact, I’ve always been a flight risk and not in the cool way; out of fear and because of hurt.
Even so, I found a place to stay, come fear or hurt and believe me… they still come.
But very strong is the one who has come forth to never let me go. Yesterday I told my friend that two people I had loved and there I found my truth, even amidst my old song that went ‘I cannot call it love because then I’d have to face the fact that mine never got to be…’ I loved him and I loved God. I loved God more, and so He let me stay by Him… even amidst the love that could never be. I’m better now, regarding him.
By night, after having come to terms with my own confessions of love, after almost crying telling her after one of her questions that I would’ve liked being chosen by the boy, and not only that, but maybe I had even needed it… I got myself ready for sleep. After covering my hands in healing balms, calming the skin that has felt dry for a few days, I didn’t want to touch anything in case I left my balms on a pillow instead of over my skin and remembered something God taught me a good year back or so, something I believe I even wrote here:
The woman from Song of Solomon didn’t want to leave her bed to open the door for her beloved, because she had just bathed her feet and did not want to soil them again. Her beloved had been carrying myrrh, one can deduct from the story, because he had left the bolt dripping with it, as she found out when she stood up a second too late, to open the door. I did one thing years back, having chosen God over my own garments and bathing rituals, and therefore I now get to see His myrrh dripping wherever I find His touch. I care about His garments now, and His very own washing my feet because it’s truly the only way to become a part of His heart.
So I stayed.
So, I’ve stayed.

Be sure to sit with Him long enough… that’s what I would tell you today. Yes, run to the door whenever He knocks, even if it’s untimely and uncomfortable. Loving life means ultimately loving Him, highly regarding our existence here on earth because of Him, and the only way to do so is if He gives it life and meaning, and a sure foundation. Later I’ve found that speaking evil and telling lies also means doing it to ourselves, as I grew up doing… and as I have done since then, in everything big or small. It has come to that point, having Him around, where He wants me to see His truth and then speak it, tell it to my heart, soul and mind.

Fear God alone.

Christ died at the beginning of everything, as Revelation 13:8 states, ‘from the founding of the world’. How else could He have been so alive to Job? How else could Job have known He held said sword of His wrath, as the one who judges had it not been because of this? That’s how He received every power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and blessing, because He, He became worthy after having been the Lamb who was slain. (Revelation 5)

Stay long enough to see Him take a stand over your life, even if it takes what you know will be your last breath, let Him speak life again, even then.

Y con esto, explico a lo que me refiero al hablar de quedarme los suficiente a su lado, es un ‘para siempre’ escrito al son de ‘lo veré con mis propios ojos y no me dejará en el polvo.’

Mis ojos lo verán, y no otro.

-SFTS