Sheltered from the storm

I’m going all in with my heart on this… but I don’t feel as I used to; like I would die if things didn’t turn out. I’m not scared.
I feel so loved…
And I want to see You so badly, I have seen You so clearly…
I don’t mind the jump this time around, for from every piece of pain I’m running away and into Your arms; fix my heart, fix my… all. 
They spoke, but You mouthed my freedom steadier and louder. 
…I’ve indeed too known whom I’ve believed. 

-SFTS, 2025

Five years ago I met the end of my rope. I sent the message, closed my phone and went upstairs. I climbed into my bed and went to sleep the unforgiving sleep of the lonely…

I saw scars on a side for five years, and not mine. 

I saw someone’s arms lift me from the ground,

I heard Him laugh and remove me from where I was. 

I saw His smile. 

I fell in love for the first time in my life, the object of my affections the only true One who could deserve my heart, for having brought it back to life. 

I met a friend, and He… He’s now teaching me how to have more friends. 

He didn’t call my mom, He came in her stead,
and woke me up.

Here with everyone else I flew now to a younger me. It was at a cafe near our house ten years ago where we were supposed to meet…

She never came, and when it got fashionably late I suddenly stopped pouring the brown sugar over my warm milk and began packing my things, giving short breaths and skipping a heartbeat. 

She had a car and I had hoped to hop inside and have her give me one last ride… I had no car and so I flew through the air from the cafe to our house, of course, I would never forget but I had hoped she’d climb if only to see herself ten years from now,

I’m glad I remembered she would be having a tough time fending for herself just like every other night;

Don’t cry, don’t cry,

Breathe in, breathe out,

You have a home now, keep fighting,

He will make Himself known to you in time, reach still for His hand,

He’s coming from way back carrying our heart, calling our spirit and mending the soul the world left out,

Breathe in, breathe out,

Cry out,

Don’t let go of my hand, I’m waiting a few tears ahead, with His heart holding mine, 

Yours,

Breathe in, breathe out,

go to sleep now, He’s calling in dreams and outside,

Let Him in, don’t walk out,

Give Him ten years from now. 

No, He’s here now, give me, give yourself ten more years, and don’t break fully… not tonight. 

I love you too, He taught us how. 

Breathe in, breathe out…

Light is coming in, I promise,

dearest one.

-SFTS